Yes, Kathryn, there is a Carnegie Hall singing debut for you

A quiver of emotional arrows shot through me as I stepped onto the stage to sing at Carnegie Hall: joy, awe, happiness, and a sense of disbelief. I felt an unstoppable grin of sheer excitement on my face as I floated past the percussionists warming up, stepped carefully up the risers, took my place and turned to face the audience members taking their red velvet seats.

“I’m really here!” I thought. “On the stage, ready to sing at Carnegie Hall!”

Like a kid, I scanned the audience and surreptitiously waved at my husband and five friends who had travelled to New York City to see my debut performance at the world-renowned music hall.

My name was not, of course, on the marquee. I had come with four fellow choir friends from Trinity United Church in Ottawa – Anne, Carolyn, Jodie and Helen – and joined 270 other singers from across the United States, to present Heaven’s Child, a Christmas cantata comprised of narration and nine songs that tell the story of Jesus’ birth. Pepper Choplin (yes, that’s his real name; he’s well-known amongst church choirs) composed the cantata and stood now on the podium, ready to conduct our performance.

As Pepper raised his baton and the orchestra musicians lifted their instruments to play, I realized with a shock that I wasn’t nervous – an unusual state for me. Butterflies had wrestled in my stomach during the sound check earlier that day, but now I felt calm and ready, yet elated as well. That energy carried me right into the opening notes. The harmonies enveloped me, then rose and soared to the audience as a gift that hopefully stirred the same feeling of spiritual blessedness.

For those who have never sung in a massed choir, let you me tell you that it’s an absolute thrill. I’ve sung in small choirs for most of my life, and some large choirs, but none that shared this group’s calibre. The power of all those voices, combined with the orchestra, was rousing.

To sing at Carnegie Hall was never even a dream for the five of us. But suddenly it vaulted to the top of all our wish lists when the opportunity arose more than a year ago. Distinguished Concerts International New York invited our choir to send singers and we jumped at the chance.

I kept thinking about the movie Florence Foster Jenkins, starring Meryl Streep as the New York socialite who did not let her lack of talent prevent her from fulfilling her dream to sing at Carnegie Hall. I loved the movie, based on a true story, but kept wondering if I was like Florence – not talented enough. Helen, who has sung in the Trinity Choir for 60 years, shared my worry.

“I hesitated at first because I thought I wasn’t qualified,” she said. “I thought they’d be way better. But they’re just like us! It’s a great opportunity for the average choir singer. You can shine.”

And as we progressed through the cantata, we did indeed shine. In the angels’ song, our notes and words floated down like snow, just as Pepper had intended. The shepherds’ song was boisterous and sheer fun. But my favourite was “Heavenly Star” because it so eloquently frames the theme that Pepper wove through the cantata. The key lyrics are “Searching, yearning, learning, all who seek will surely one day find.” I believe that applies to all of us – we can’t just go through life passively. We must actively seek whatever it is we hope to find – whether it’s the meaning of Jesus’ birth or fulfilling our travel desires or singing at Carnegie Hall or anything else in our life for which we yearn.

We had practised for months beforehand and spent 10 hours in rehearsals with Pepper in the days before the performance, perfecting our dynamics, diction and presentation. But somehow, that magnificent music hall cast a spell that turned the experience magical.   

Anyone can take a tour of Carnegie Hall, as we did before singing there. Built in 1891, it’s one of the most prestigious halls in the world, especially for its acoustics. Our tour guide said the architect, William Burnet Tuthill, studied music halls in Europe for a year to learn more about acoustics, and then included key features: lots of curves, few right angles, no curtains, no chandelier, and open boxes with no dividers. A major renovation in 1986 finally added elevators, although not to the fifth level of seating because the structural changes would have affected the acoustics.

We stood in one of the boxes, listening as the piano tuner prepared the grand piano for our concert that night. The hall is elegant without being overdone: cream-coloured walls with columns and other ornamentation highlighted in gold leaf.

Performing there is the pinnacle of most musicians’ careers. Photos lining the lobbies show many of the greats who’ve performed there: Harry Belafonte, Benny Goodman, Renee Fleming, Ella Fitzgerald, Les Paul, Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett, John Philip Sousa, and The Beatles (although the program listed “John McCartney”). U.S. presidents, Martin Luther King, Marie Curie and Mark Twain spoke there.  

And now I was singing there!

As we moved into the last song, I didn’t want the cantata to end. I wanted to keep singing forever. Sadly, it did end, and we received a standing ovation. I’ve been humming and singing those songs ever since, slowly coming down from that jubilant high.

The next day, as we waited in the Newark airport for our flight back to Ottawa, we struggled to put our feelings into words.

“Amazed,” said Carolyn. “Grateful that we had the opportunity.”

“I feel joyful,” said Anne. “I’ve got all this music still inside me. I’m still singing it.”

“It really was exciting to sing with Pepper Choplin,” said Jodie. “The energy there is just pure love of singing.”

“It’s proof that you are never too old to experience new adventures,” said Helen.

I know I’m no Ella Fitzgerald or Tina Turner, but still, we did sing at Carnegie Hall on the very same stage as all those famous musicians.

And as Florence Foster Jenkins said: “People may say I couldn’t sing, but no one can say I didn’t sing.”